Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Real Skinny

So we'll start this week with some predictable news:

Riley went to the doctor for his 18 month check up and .... wait for it.... he didn't weigh enough.

He actually lost 5 ounces since he was in the ER.

Of course, this makes him drop back off the chart and now he has to drink one Pedia-sure a day to supplement his fat & calorie intake.

Now, I don't know who thinks the fix for a kid who doesn't want to eat is to make him drink something new, but we've managed to get at least half of one into him per day.

We have to bring him back in a month to get weighed, blah, blah , repeat.

The real disappointing news came in relation to his height.
He's hugging the 50th percentile in that regard, as he has been since birth.
Assuming he stays on that path, it will put him at 37.5 inches tall when we go to Disney World next year.
That's depressing because the Magic number for Soarin, Splash Mountain and Fast Track is 40 inches.

So, if anyone knows of any combination of natural looking shoes, volumizing shampoo and stretching exercises that can get him to 40 inches by December 2010, please let me know.

Things are getting really fun on the vocab front. He's using a bunch of 2 word combos and even some 3 word sentences.
He's probably on a normal developmental path, but we're trying to push it along as much as possible, even if it means ruining his innocent childhood years.

He's genetically equipped to be the next Sheldon Cooper, and we really need him to have a high paying career, so we don't have to do this law stuff into our 50s.

Even though he got in trouble with the doctor for being a skrump, his week was medically better than Cousin Caroline's.

I don't know all of the details, but early in the week Paul & Liz got a call that Caroline had hurt her mouth on a slide at daycare.
It looked like her tooth had been broken, but no one could find the missing fragment, so she had chest and abdominal x-rays to try to find the broken bits.
Those showed nothing.
The next day the dentist found the tooth in the most horrifying of places...... back up in her gums.

I know you're covering your mouth now, because that's what everyone does when they hear it.

And despite suffering oral trauma that most people would not imagine to be anatomically possible, she put Riley to shame at Royal Panda and at La Pagua. She's a warrior.

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Speaking of warriors, on Saturday morning we did the 2nd annual CMA Sashay & 5k.
We is Me, Joan, Liz, Lindsey, Eli and Amanda. (Riley and Gabe came along for the ride)

One of those people is a personal trainer.
One of those people is a college athlete.
One of those people in naturally in shape.
One of those people is training for a half marathon.

The other two are lawyers on the cusp of 30 who haven't run a lick since the 1st annual CMA Sashay & 5k. (that was a year ago, for you rabid LSU fans.)

Ooops! Did that give it away that those two are me and Joan?

But we all finished, and we were all happy with our times. (considering our fitness levels. and even though i beat them by 8 minutes )

Admission to the Children's Museum was part of the registration and Riley seemed to have a good time.
The place is neat, but I really can't see us ever paying the $15 that it would cost us to get in as a family.

Since we ended up consuming the post race Jambalya, pralines and Abita Amber at 10am, lunch got pushed back to 3. We hit La Pagua so that Uncle Paul could try their pupusas (as should you.)

The only thing Riley was interested in eating was salsa, with a spoon.
We tried to trick him by putting rice and beans in the salsa bowl, but he didn't fall for it, and managed to scoop up only salsa.

Essentially, eating is just a race for us to be done before he runs out of things to climb on, over, or under and gets cranky.

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That needs to end soon. The boys needs to learn to eat anytime he sees food.
Ya know, like a good American.

Saturday night we headed to Gabe's house to watch the Cajuns earn a big paycheck by getting pummeled by Nebraska.
Riley and Gabe had fun riding their 6 volt 4 wheelers, and Riley made a new friend in Mr LT.

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Then he learned a lesson in never letting your guard down when Gabe decided to pretend Riley was a horse.

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I see fists in their near future.

But he got sleepy before everyone was done eating and didn't even get to try Mommy's football cake.

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Sunday morning we piled into the Jeep, cranked up the Howdies' cd and headed to Girard Park to feed the killer ducks.

We were obviously late because most of the ducks weren't hungry. (or they may have taken anger management classes.)

We tried though.

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The geese were a little hungrier, but nowhere near the threatening mob we encountered last week.

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Oh, well. It was a moral victory in that Riley kept his sunglasses on the whole time.
Plus I got a shot I've been wanting of him next to one of the Jeep tires, as a comparison.

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If he grows on track, he'll be as tall as the tires when we go to WDW.

After the hustle & bustle of the park we headed over for some quiet reptile time at Cypress Lake.
This week there were 6 alligators within 10 yards of the edge.
We sat still for a long time as he just watched them.
He was mesmerized.

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Even though he wasn't the big winner of this week's "Run Up the Biggest Medical Bill" contest , I don't want you to go off thinking that he's responsible and safe now.
For conclusive evidence otherwise, here's how he now rides on his "choo-choo train" (only on tile and wood floors)

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at least Paul & Liz know a good pediatric dentist.

Now's where one of us is going to feel some pain.
It will either be:
A- Me as I click "Publish Post", stand up, and then collapse to the ground as my quadriceps burst into flames;


B-- You, the reader, as I continue to ramble incoherently so as to avoid soreness lurking just one muscle contraction away.

Ok. I'll take the hit on this one. But you owe me now.
If I don't post next week, call 911 and tell them to look for me under my keyboard. I think I can survive a week.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Haunted by the Past

I'm a guy who likes to follow through on my word.

Last week my word was that this week's post would not be interesting.

Failing to follow though on that promise would only further add to the reputation of lawyers as liars, so I'm gonna craft this post around a complete lack of quality, in the name of all that is good.

There were no ER visits this week, but the legacy of the ER has haunted us (and we haven't even gotten the bill yet.)

At the barber shop and the vet's office, both places where Riley has always been good, he got upset and wouldn't let me put him down.
I can only conclude that the semi-instituational settings reminded him of the terror of being weighed and x-rayed at the hospital.

I'm guessing things will be really rough tomorrow when we actually do go to the doctor for his 18 month check up.

In preparation for the developmental questionnaire that you answer at each visit, we made a list of the words that Riley regularly uses.
To make it to the list, a word had to be supplied by him (not just repeated) and able to be understood by a stranger in context.

With those semi rigorous standards, we were able to list over 50 words, plus a few phrases.
That's a couple of months ahead of schedule, so we're not worried about him developmentally, even though we know we're going to get fussed at for him not being fat enough.

On Friday, Riley and Anna showed their Cajun spirit and demonstrated their touchdown calls/general goofiness for the camera.

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There are not many things that are goofier and hammier (word?) than those two together, and it's not either one of their faults. They are just genetically inclined to be goobers.

Friday night, Mommy and Daddy got to stay up waaaaay past bedtime and go to the Blue Moon for the Howdies' cd release party.

You know life is pretty cool when you can go to a bar (which is actually a porch attached to a hotel) and meet up with your freshman English teacher (who is also a gospel singer) who is there to see his son , a tattooed up body piercer, (who is your niece's godfather and with whom you've gone to Disney World ) play western swing and country from the first half of the 20th Century (mixed in with surf guitar and murder blues)

It's a funny world.

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and, as expected, they tore it up.

Since we got to bed about 4 hours later than usual, Riley was kind enough to sleep 30 minutes later than usual.

While mommy got her hair did, father and son hit the town in the Jeep.
It was a milestone because, for the first time since having control of his limbs, he kept his sunglasses on for 15 minutes. Amazing.

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We first fed the frighteningly aggressive ducks and geese at Girard park before heading over to Cypress Lake.
There, he was elated to have alligators and turtles swimming right in front of him, with birds hopping and flitting about on all sides. He got to use quite a few of his favorite words.

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Once the alligators had settled their territorial disputes and resumed their log poses, we headed over to Johnson's for the breakfast of champions---- boudin. (in both link and ball form)

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All of that adventuring wore him out and he fell asleep on the way home (which always amazes me)

You can see that he wasn't very happy upon arriving home to be jarred awake by the horrible sleep robbing conditions of being in a quiet area and not having 45 mph wind in your face.

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After a good nap, we headed south for lunch with his maternal, paternal great grandmother.
For the first time he showed a strong interest in vandalizing with the crayons.

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But that morphed into sticking the crayons into his straw.

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and eventually just dropping them all the way into his water.

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Maybe drinking that cocktail leads to his colorful antics.

(haha, ya get it? see what I did there?)

Our lack of ER visits this week was not for his lack of trying.
On Saturday evening, Uncle Eli and Anthill came over to watch the UL v LSU slaughter.
In a search for some new way to show off, Riley figured out that he can move Jimmy's chair and climb onto the subwoofer, then over to the couch.

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He only fell once, but got hung up enough on the way down that his landing was concussion free.

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That's it.

But here's just a little taste of what you missed by not being at the Blue Moon on Friday.

If you wanna catch them live and don't mind (or even enjoy) a smokey bar and a burlesque strip show, they're playing at Sadies on Friday with Fleur de Tease.
If don't like female nudity or carcinogen filled air and you'd rather catch them on disc, stop by Johnson's and pick up their cd.
You can also get it on iTunes, but they don't sell magnificent smoked meat products.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Money for Nothin'

I'm pleased to use this space to announce the newest member of our family.

Earlier in the week we finalized the adoption of Riley's new best friend....
.... a stuffed monkey named George.

He'd been sitting in a closet for a long time, but Riley found him last Sunday and they've become inseparable.

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Well, mostly inseparable.

We were able to separablate them enough on Monday to pile in with Granny Lynn and Granddad for a trip over to Caroline's home turf, the BR Zoo.

Riley had great educational experiences.

He got to see a turtle and a duck fight for food. (a few seconds after this shot)

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He was charged multiple times by a very angry elk.

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and he got to watch monkeys pick bugs out of each others' crotches.

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That's darn near the holy trinity of good family fun.

Since zoos aren't supposed to be educational, Riley passed up the lesson in diversity and inclusion that Paul and I pondered.

Next time you're by the flamingos in BR, notice that there is something different about one.

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In fact, that different one is a duck. But he eats what flamingos eat, has a hint of pink coloring and generally conducts himself like a flamingo.
It's pretty interesting, and I'd love to know the origins of his inclusion in the group.*** (inclusion may not be the right word as Paul says he's usually relegated to the outer edge of the flock. Maybe tolerance is more fitting.)

Despite all of the potential excitement, things were kinda dull.
Riley was working well into nap time and Caroline was tranq'd out on a dose of Zyrtec.

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They perked up enough for the playground,

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and continued the good times at the petting zoo.

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So that was a good day. Not everyday can be that way though.

Thursday morning we got a text from my mom saying that Riley had dropped a heavy toy on his right big toe. A few hours later he was still refusing to put weight on it, so we called the pediatrician.
We figured that it wasn't an ER situation because, typically, there's nothing you can do, even for a broken toe.

We're not going to be those parents that go to an ER every time the kid cries.

A short while later the nurse called me back and, much to my surprise, suggested that we go to the ER. Since our doc is pretty straight with us and knows that Joan and I are educated, informed and skeptical, I deferred to the expert's suggestion.

Riley and I headed over to the W&C ER where he was in high spirits until they(..... gasp....tragedy......horror.....) weighed him. All downhill from there.

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We were quickly moved to a trauma suite and George came in very handy in comforting him.

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After only a few minutes, a nurse practitioner showed up and said, unsurprisingly, "even if it's a broken toe, there's really nothing we can do." (insert remark involving excrement and Detective Holmes.)

So essentially we spent $400-$600 (presumably. no bill yet.) for them to tell us exactly what we knew, which was that there was nothing for them to do.

They took x-rays anyway and it's not broken, but I'm shocked that he didn't break anything else while trying to fight off of the x-ray table.

His mood was perkened (not a word, but should be) by some cookie cake at daddy's office.

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By that evening he was running around and even kicking things. I guess all it takes is one nice car payment to cure a hurt toe.

Saturday was the second Cajuns home game, and even though less people showed up, it was a really big game from a football perspective as the visiting team is in a much better conference and is generally expected to easily dispose of lower tier teams like the Cajuns.

Before heading to the field though we stopped by the Northside, oops, I mean Upper Lafayette, Target because they are the only place that sells Tide Free in the one gallon,dispenser jugs. But we also discovered that their baskets are way nicer than the Southside Target baskets. I demand (for whatever that's worth) that we get the nice plastic baskets too.

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We then grabbed some lunch from the new, super busy, Northside, I mean Upper Lafayette, Chick-Fil-A and headed out to a soggy Cajun Field.

Riley met a new friend, Bennett, and made his Mommy's day by having a splash fest in the standing water.

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He didn't mind the mud or drizzle and had fun running around with Anna, who was much better outfitted for the conditions.

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But no one was as classily equipped as Aiden when it came to keeping your hair dry.

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Eventually, we headed in for the game which was worth every second. (especially since our seats were dry, unlike about 90% of the rest of the stadium.)

The Cajuns had a good lead until K-state jumped ahead by one point with just a few minutes to go.
The Cajuns had a good drive down the field but stalled at the 30 with just over 30 seconds left.
The tension in the air was palpable as they sent in a kicker who had never had a college field goal attempt, for a 48 yard shot. A snap of the scoreboard will let you know how he did.

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Even with a moderate crowd turn out, it almost sounded like an LSU game when he made the kick.

Definitely one of the more exciting finishes I've ever seen to a game, and significant win for the Cajuns who are undoubtedly going to be beaten to a pulp next weekend in BR.

That does it for this week. Barring any unnecessary ER visits , next week's post will be skimpy.
I may actually have to think of something to say that is worth reading instead of the usual (in Paul's words) "white noise to break up the space between pictures."
I don't want to have to do that. Booooooooo!

*** Below is a clip of a Dave Chappelle standup routine that I can't help but think about everytime I see the fauxmingo duck poseur.